2004-01-16, 8:44 p.m.
I had an odd dream last night.
Julio came to my house, knocking at my door. I answered. He told me he couldn't see me anymore. When i inquired why, he said something about another doctor telling him he couldn't because of his length of treating me or my condition or something. I could see his car parked infront of my house and he started to make his way out to it. I flipped. Like, totally lost it. I started to cry and scream out to him "NO! I HAVE TO KEEP SEEING YOU! THINGS ARE REALLY REALLY BAD. MY BULIMIA IS OUT OF CONTROL! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" He keep walking. Totally stiff. He wouldn't even look at me. I was chasing him and he just walked like I wasn't even there. I was shouting and crying and he walked looking straight ahead, emotionless. He got in his car and started to drive away as I was sobbing and freaking out. I thought he might run me over and I was going to let him. Finally, he got out of his car and said "fine, okay, get dressed. we'll go see the doctor." i noticed i was in my pajamas and said "THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" i kept saying thank you. i ran inside my house and i frantically looked for some clothes. i couldn't find my sweatshirt anywhere. i put jeans on and kept looking for a sweatshirt everywhere. i felt like i was taking a long time. i put makeup on. Then I woke up, crying.