2006-01-02, 1:33 p.m.
The last time I e-mailed Julio I wrote this in the e-mail:
" i'm sorry to rely on you so much and bug you especially on your vacation. i don't want to be annoying and i'd rather be told to stop e-mailing then to be annoying."
I haven't heard from him since.
When I called Dr. Kim yesterday I left a message saying the ball is in his court and I won't call him anymore till I hear from him.
He hasn't called me.
I text messaged atleast 7 people asking to hang out today.
No reply.
I feel like I'm losing it. So fucking alone and I can't do anything about it. So fucking depressed. I went to starbucks this morning, stood outside and smoke, and willed someone to talk to me. I started to drive to the mall just for something to do but at the last minute I turned around. The thought of walking around by myself made me feel suicidal. I was thinking, god, i should just commit suicide and then Julio and Dr. Kim would care.
I'm such an attention whore.