running away
2002-05-22, 10:24 p.m.

dry blood is weird. its like black. before it was so red, so clean, so bright. Now its black. Black as my heart, my sin, my pain. I guess black is an appropriate color for dry blood. Black as my past.

im running away. to a youth shelter. they only keep you for a week at the most but i think its what i need. i need a break. im getting info on it from a friend tommorow. like their policy and stuff. also wether or not you goto school. because if you dont, ill get my work in advance.

one more fight, and im gone. im out of here. i cant wait. i want to go now.

i wouldnt feel so bad about going if my dad wasnt here. if my dad wasnt here, it'd be wonderful to leave.

i know its morbid, but sometimes i wish my dad was dead so i could do the things i want to my mom. run away easier, give my mom the letter i wrote her.

im scared. for tommorow. for the week. when will i be gone? when will i know its time to go? what will i bring? what will they do?

im on a cleaning frenzy. anything to keep my mind off of things i guess.

time to check the laundry.