2002-05-24, 3:21 p.m.

you know...a disadvantage on not eating is that I get really grumpy. Though those diet pills give me energy, Im also tired in a weird way.

I almost forget what food taste like. Isn't that dumb? I stop eating for 4 days and 16 years of eating goes down the drain.

im seeing my friend Heather today/tonight. Shes down for her boyfriends graduation but she is so kind to spend time with me.

we dont know what we are going to do yet but i pray and hope she doesnt suggest going out to eat. Why do people always suggest going out to eat?

I dont know what ill do if i get in that mess.

i feel overwhelmed. tired. emotionally on the brink. it takes alot of strength..to do this daily. live.

i cant cry. heather is coming in 20 min. no crying. just did my makeup.

oi. there they go. crying. tears. dumb dumb dumb me. i cannot do anything.