2002-06-18, 6:51 p.m.

i dont want to do this. i dont want to have to fucking self-induce barfing everytime i eat. i promise myself i wont do it, but I always do. and whats with me and taking a showers? i always just want to shower again. wash away everything.

i see julio tommorow. i dont feel like talking. i dont feel like being happy or unhappy or depressed. and i probably fucking purged my anti-depressant. my bed looks appealing. maybe ill shower then read for awhile in my pjs. i should do sit ups. i havent for awhile.

my teeth are a mess.

i am a mess. everything is one heap of a mess.

i want to burn it all.