2002-10-06, 12:07 p.m.
I really should have my diary weblog style. I'm updating a lot lately. Several times a day. Anyways, I feel calmer now. I took 7 laxatives and have all my food ready to binge on. I have chips and salsa, 3 tuna sandwiches, fettuchini alfredo, yogurt, cheez its, and two cup cakes. I hope it's enough. I'm trying not to buy my binge food but find it in my house but that's hard...I'm so embarresed of how much food I consume everyday. Maybe after I get paid for babysitting tommorow I'll buy some binge food. Maybe I'll make it every other day instead of buying everyday. I almost bought a burger and I almost bought a box of crunch n munch but last minute as standing in the checkout line I put them back and turned away from the fast food restaurant. I have my bible study group tonight. I usually do okay for dinner, but tonight I have to do better if I want to be 97 again. Last week when one of the people in the group brought pizza and pastas I nearly died. I almost ate a slice of pizza and all this pasta but I hate a bite of pizza, a bite of speghatti, and salad with no dressing. So I did okay, but not good enough. I'm thinking about coming a half hour late, when dinner ends, and telling them I got in a huge fight over the car with my mom and I'm not hungry or something lame. I don't know. I'll see. Maybe I'll claim a stomach ache which might not be entirely lying looking at how laxatives usually affect me and how many I took. I'm tired of typing. I want to eat.