Day after day. It's all the same.
2004-01-26, 8:30 p.m.

I was up till 1 am bingeing and purging last night. Go me. so I didnt go to my first two classes because I felt like lead this morning. Double score. I'm bingeing again right now. Probably be up again late tonight. Finals week. I have a lot to do. stressed.

I talked with my youth leader, and were going to a group next Tuesday. We'd go this Tuesday but with finals this week i'm too stressed and busy. She also knows someone who just finished training in counseling and stuff and use to have an eating disorder. She said she'll talk to her and see if she can talk with me or something. So it looks like I'm taking some steps. I'm trying to be posistive but I don't know why I still feel so shitty about this. Hopelessness still has a blanket over it all, I guess.

I saw school psychologist today. We talked about Julio meeting and my thoughts and his thoughts about it all, which was good because I got to think it out and stuff. He seems kind of concerned and like he wants to make sure something happens, like he doesn't want me slipping through the cracks. I dunno. I like talking to him because I feel like he takes me seriously. He also weighed me and set a cut off point for more weight, which is 79. I'm at 83 right now. So as soon as I get in the 70's, were in danger zone I guess.

I dunno. I don't really have anything else to talk about. Things are the same: bad.