2003-07-13, 12:34 a.m.
Perhaps maybe my only friend, my "friend"'s mother called me today while I was melting records into bowls. she asked me to come over and said she may check herself into in patient care. she wanted to talk.
i dropped everything and came over. we talked for awhile. things haven't been good for her for awhile. then, she said, i was crying yesterday because I have been worried about you. why? I asked. because you're getting thinner and thinner and i think you're throwing up and i don't want you to die and you're my last friend and are you throwing up?
what? no. i'm not.
do you swear?
yes!
to god?
yes.
i tell you everything.
i tell you everything too.
i mean we eat and eat and i get fat and you're just getting thinner and please be honest with me and you're always cold and weak and i don't want you to die and i'm so worried about you.
i'm fine. i swear.
...
god i can't believe i lied to her like that. then i asked her what makes her think that and she said because she thought she heard something once when i was in the bathroom and she was in her room. I got to be more careful or not do it at all there. good job melissa. ugh.