2005-12-31, 12:16 p.m.
i suck. i should die. i'm worthless. i'm a piece of shit. i'm never going to amount to anything. i'm an attention whore. i had a shot at recovery and i failed because food was more important being thin was more important. i just want to be loved and want attention and want to be beautiful and am lazy.
i tell myself to stop calling people and whining to them but i can't help it because i want love and attention too much to stop. my room is fucking mess but i'm too tired to go upstairs to clean it. i can't stop taking pills in hopes that they'll fix me.
i'm a wreck but i'm too tired to fix me. julio will never see me again because he's mad at me.
i begged for an ipod for christmas and now i'm too lazy to put any music on it. i'm an eating disorder fraud because i'm fat.
all i know how to do is eat cheap gross food.
nobody likes me everybody hates me guess i'll go eat.