2001-12-24, 12:17 a.m.

...so im home. its worse then ever. god damn this wretched home why must it never change. i feel so lost, so alone, and so confused. my mom told me how she hates me toda and that she wants me to leave. i told her to go fuck herself and jump off a bridge. I hate her so much. I don't want to deal with this. I would never admit it to anyone, but here--i want to see my therapist. i want to cry and curl up in my corner of the couch and tell him how i feel like im going insaneand i feel like the ground is crumbling beneath me. but alas, my next appointment is so long from now because of the holidays.

dedicated to gary because hes probably the only one that reads this shit --