i dont want to be here
2001-12-24, 12:19 p.m.

i dont want to be here anymore. i cant stand hearing my "moms" voice anymore. i cant even refer her as my mom anymore, she will now be "IT". IT was bugging me this morning so i told her to just stop talking and her voice was pissing me off. she told me that im a pain in the ass and should go back to my church leaders place. agh. Id rather hear one of the people i love being killed then IT's voice. Her voice makes me cry. im going to a book store soon with my friend. she called me up and invited me. i was quite suprised she wanted to go and im curious why she wants to go. im the one usually begging her to come with me, even though i usually prefer to be myself while i shop for books. people are usually disturbed at the topics i look at.