2002-01-20, 1:53 p.m.

Thoughts of IT acting crazy in her "loving" way raced through my mind today. IT had to pick me up from Church because my dad was on a bike ride, and I was generally quiet and cold like I always am and she was babbeling on about my dad fixing an outlet or something and some other random things. Then she said

"I said a special prayer to the angels for you."


"I prayed for happiness, joy, peace. So lets wait to see what happens.


"I even played nice angel music."


"So, lets see what happens. If the angels listen."


The rest of the ride was silent, for the most part. She said something about my dog or to my dog. Im not sure. My only other memory of IT being nice to me, in her crazy state, were when she found the book the pastor of my Church lent to me. "Happiness is a Choice" On the way to Church, actually, she kept trying to hug me, and kiss me, and tell me that she and my dad loves me. I kept pushing her away.

I saw a Beautiful Mind. Im going to spoil the movie so if you plan on seeing it dont read, I'll tell you when you can read again.

The guy in the movie is schizophrenic, and it became so real to me how real ITS condition is. YOU CAN READ AGAIN ;-) I never want to see that movie again..its too painful.