2002-01-30, 9:40 p.m.

I..did something..I shouldn't have. But...im kind of...dissapointed it didnt turn out as well as I hoped.

I binged and purged. For the first time. I ate freely tonight knowing I was going to go home and purge for the first time in my life.

It didnt work..as well...as I would of liked..though I surely tried..maybe next time..if there is a next time...I mean..food came up..just not enough. I still feel huge and fat and full.

Im really confused. I don't know what to think of tonight. I brushed my teeth good afterwards so i hope no acid or anything will hurt my teeth if i continue to do this. um..i think i should go lie down...im real shaky and having trouble typing and my chest hurts from dry heaving alot as well as actually..well..you know.