2002-02-08, 10:24 p.m.
I want to be thin. Thin and clean. I want to purge. Again. Damnit I always wait to long after I eat. Its like I am so damn hungry when I finally decide to eat a little all I can focus on is making sure I ate every grain of rice. I am at 104. Damn. I got down to 101! 101!!!! But I had to fucking eat half normal today. Tommorow. I always say that, but I mean it. I gotta. Its going to be harder than usual though, because I'll be home and bored so I'll be tempted to eat. I was going to take a nap today, but it seemed like there was so much I wanted to do with my free time, I played 3 bloody games of clue online with some friends. I am such a loser. Here is the fat I consumed today:
-A side order of fried rice with a little soy sauce on it.
-A double scoop of rainbow sherbet and cookies 'n cream on a cone.
-Half a cup of chinese seaweed soup
-a cup of white rice with soy sauce
-A piece of key lime pie
Damnit! Whats wrong with me. I could've purged the pie. I guess I'll goto bed. This diary has almost turned from a depressed kid diary to another E.D. diary. bleh.
this is where i say ive had enough, no one should have to feel the way that i feel now.