2002-02-16, 5:59 p.m.

my biggest regret in life, is not killing myself yesterday. i can never do it now, because of fear, but i think eventually, that fear wont matter, or atleast i hope so.

or a crash or some kind of accident wouldnt be bad either.

I think "car accident" is alot easier for most to take then "suicide".

I think suicide would be really deep though. I mean, everyone whos hurt me, everyone who doesnt think they are hurting me, everyone who doesnt want to believe how much im hurting, would see the extent of my pain.

maybe, i can try suicide, not suceed, and get locked up.

ive always wanted to get locked up and turn into a potatoe just laying around driving myself mad.

atleast id be away from the world and everything that hurts.