2002-07-17, 11:48 a.m.

99. 99. 99. I'm getting back down there and I'm feeling strong. 98 was my lowest ever...I hope I can get lower than that without gaining weight back. I didn't eat much of anything yesterday. That Allissa girl tried to make me eat icecream at our Bible study. She asked me what kind I wanted and I told her "I'm not really in the mood for icecream, but thank you." and she kept pushing. Finally, she scooped a bowl of rainbow sherbet for me and I refused to eat it. We sat at our Bible study and all the other girls ate their icecream and mine melted completely. I wanted to eat it so bad. But I felt angry for her pushing me so I couldn't.

I'm eating an apple to make my stomach stop hurting but its not seeming to help. Sometimes I'll bend over after eating to pick something up or for another reason and I can feel food start to rise up.

I'm such a mess.