2002-09-08, 8:55 a.m.
bad night last night. i don't want to get into it. not only do i not want to think about it, i'm just too tired to think about it. lets just say it involved me kicking a bathroom door a lot, my dad screaming at me, my mom calling me the usual uplifting names, me sleeping on concrete, waking up with a pounding headache and a terrible cold.
now im getting ready for church and i look like hell. i dont care. im tired of trying to help myself and figure out what i can do to get help. im tired of thinking of all the possibilities. i don't want to help myself anymore. i want someone to help me. besides, i can't help myself anymore. i need help and i can't give it to me and i can't find it or look for it or figure out how its going to work with my school scheduel and my parents. i can't do it anymore.
help me. i can't help myself anymore. i can't try to figure it out.