2002-09-09, 10:29 p.m.

i don't know who i am. i don't know my personality or how i feel about things or even what i look like. I don't know what I really am or who i really am. or what's even wrong with me for that matter. i dont know me. that's frightening. i was thinking today..i do a lot of things that would be considered reasoned because I want to get control. cutting, bulimia, my attitude towards my parents, what i do with my life on a daily basis. but i haven't really lost control in the first place. so why would i feel the need to get control? but then...amybe thats why. i don't know who i am or anything about me..and that's so out of control i try to find control in other things.

*shrug* i don't know. i can't think anymore.