2002-09-30, 9:57 p.m.

98.5. slowly losing again. a couple people have noticed. said i'm looking "good" and "thinner" my youth leader at bible study tonight said i'm way too thin and should gain weight. Ya. Right. Gain weight and look extremely huge? I just finished my second binge of the day, which is way too late. I shouldn't be binging this late. It seems like that's when I gain weight. Hopefully I'll be 98 tommorow. I hope. I hope. Time to purge...then homework. *sigh* so tired. I've been trying not to think about the contents of my last diary entry but it seems my doctor's hospital threats and those painful realizations are burning through my head bringing tears to my eyes at any given moment. So I eat..and eat...and make things worse but try to fill that endless pit in my heart.