2002-10-22, 4:29 p.m.


I feel like popping two sleeping pills and sleeping until tommorow. But I always feel tired after a binge. Right now I'm snacking on crackers putting off the inevitable. It's 4:30. At 4:33 I will go. After that I know I will have energy. I have to write something for this english writing assigment, staple all my drafts, take a bunch of laxatives, take a bunch of sleeping pills, then I'll get to sleep. Everyday revolves around when I'll get to binge, then when I'll get to forget life and go to sleep. One week tommorow I see Julio if I don't get an earlier appointment, which ins't looking likely. I carried my phone in my jacket pocket willing it to vibrate with Ken saying i have an appt. But nothing. So I will wait. And will be dissapointed. And will want to die. Same old, same old. It's 4:33. At 4:46 I will go.