i can't do this.
2004-01-05, 9:56 p.m.

i've eaten way too many chocolates. and it's way too late. and i don't want to go to school anymore. and i don't want to wake up anymore. and i don't want to purge anymore. and everynight for the past few days I say "no more barfing melissa, you can't handle this." but everynight i eat more and more till i honestly think i won't have to force myself to barf.

what the fuck is going on. i wish i could sleep for hours and hours but i have fucking school. what's wrong with me? why can't i be normal? i'm breaking. seriously breaking. i'm tired of lying. tired of stealing from friends and family. tired of being exausted and cold. tired of life. how can i die? how how how how.