I wish I may, I wish I might
2004-01-06, 8:34 p.m.

I wish the fucking phone would quit ringing. Everytime it does anxiety fills me and I worry if it's for me. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to move. I wish I didn't have to eat ever again. I wish I didn't have to worry about what I was eating or when I had to eat or how I was going to get that food. I wish I didn't feel like shit when I didn't eat all day. Today I went shopping for hours after I only ate a can of green beans. I was afraid I was going to faint. I woke up to a suprising 84 lbs this morning. I didn't even try to lose any weight, it just happened. Two weeks till Julio.

i wish i knew what was going on. Or what was going to happen to me. or anything.