2004-03-21, 11:29 p.m.

Cool. Really fucking cool.

I trust people and they slap me in the face.

My youth leaders have given me an option. Either go to OA meetings reguarly and find a sponser or go to a doctor and get a physical. If I don't follow through, they'll talk to my dad.

She was crying. Because if she didn't do everything she could for me something happened to me, she couldn't live with herself.

The guilt is overwhelming. I'm hurting everyone around me because of this disorder. What keeps running through my head is:

What have you done? What have you done? What have you done?