Give me a life.
2004-07-09, 12:48 a.m.

What can I say that hasn't been said already? I feel like writing my heart out, but at the same time, there's nothing that I can say that's important to anyone or meaningful in the least.

I want to be heard. I want to be cared for, loved, drawn in so close in a hug that all my fears and anxieties are squeezed out of me. I want someone to so geniunely care about me that when they sit down and listen to me, I don't feel like they're listening just because they feel obligated. I want someone to have a deep understanding of my pain because they've been there. I want someone to be so lonely, as lonely as me, and we can relief eachother of our loneliness.

I want a friend.

I just want someone to care. Reach out to me.

Why can't someone take 5 minutes from their day to say Hi. Do you want to grab some coffee? Or Do You Need To Talk?

Am I that gruesome? Horrible? What Have I Done So Wrong?

Sometimes when someone talks to me, says hi and doesn't intend for the conversation to go any further, I talk too much because I'm just dying for human contact. Then I can tell they're uncomfortable because they'll say "well, I have to go" after I've talked for 5 minutes staight. I feel stupid after that.

My life has revolved around food, therapy appointments, and weught. And I hate it. I'm tired of it. I want meaning. I want purpose.

I want a life.