Tears are not therapeutic
2004-10-07, 2:02 p.m.

My mom left her email open and naturally I snooped around. I found this email she composed:
Dear Ayeh,

We actually have a real ghost in our house. His name is Michael Mcghee. He was killed in a traffic accident but he does not realize he is dead. So now he is a ghost in chains in our attic. Whenever, someone scares him, he flies out the attic window and goes right past him. ( The person feels a cold chill and realizes an entity, a ghost, flew by him.) Then, he makes clattering noises as he goes up the stairs. When he gets to the attic, he rattles around. He keeps on making noise to let people know that he is there.

Do you have a special ritual or spell to release him to the next level? The Psychic Level?
He is presently caught between two worlds the material and the psychic. He really wants to move on. When I conjure up his dead spirit, he complains that he should not remain a ghost in chains for life for what he did. Can he be freed?


Sue L. (Last Name)

sometimes I forget how crazy she is. I printed out the reply and the email she wrote to show Julio. I think all the noises she hears are the noises in her head, and she just blames it on some ghost she made up. I wonder where she got "Michael Mcghee". Maybe I'll google it.
I'm trying to comprehend how crazy I've been these past couple of days. I don't think I want to reflect, but I will.
Tuesday I skipped psychology because I didn't think I had enough energy to walk to my car to class. Also, I was obsessing so much about food. I was so anxious about going to the store and preparing food I didn't think I could sit through the lecture. It was so, so stupid of me to do that though because it was on the exam day. I forgot. Now I have to make up the exam next month and instead of being a multiple choice test, it will be fill in the blank. That will be MUCH harder for someone like me who recalls details when reading it, not from memory.
These last two days I've spent over 30 dollars on food that's gone literally down the toilet. Last night I realized I was short one hot dog on what I planned to binge on, so I rushed over to 7-11 and spent 1.70 on a hot dog. I could've bought a pack of hot dogs for that, and had change left over. Stupid me. But my binges are so planned. I had to have that additional dog.
This morning after spending 15 dollars at the store, I broke down sobbing infront of my house in my car. I started screaming things like "I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY HOME I HATE MY DAD I HATE MY MOM I HATE THIS CAR I HATE BODY I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO KILL MYSELF I HATE BEING ALONE I WISH SOMEONE WOULD JUST FUCKING TALK TO ME I HATE THIS DAY I HATE TOMMOROW." Someone walking their dog saw me crying, after I stopped screaming. They just kept walking and I screamed "FUCK YOU, OF COURSE KEEP WALKING. DON'T ASK ME IF I'M OKAY." I hope they didn't hear me. I composed myself, got out of my car, got my books, and then went to school.
Now i'm back home, eating my bowl of peas for lunch as usual, drinking my diet hansens, and waiting till 5 till I binge, like usual.
Last night my mom and I were fighting and my dad was just sitting there watching TV. I lost it and screamed at him "SAY SOMETHING TO HER. DO SOMETHING" and he said "I told her to leave you alone." I just kept yelling "You never do anything! How long are you going to let this go on? You just sit there like a fucking moron! DO SOMETHING."
I don't know if he tried to say something back, or if he said anything, because I went to room to cry.