got out today!
2004-11-06, 8:55 p.m.

I went downstairs this morning to get my cellphone from my purse. I ate a handful or raspberries and got into the shower. I immediatly regretted the raspberries. So I swallowed shower water, bent over, and purged them in the shower. Great start of my day.
But, I actually got out today. I went to Christie's and her mom taught me how to knit. I started a scarf and I plan to give it to Julio's wife for Christmas. She works at the office and she's always nice to me. I also went out to lunch with Christie's mom Edie, her half son, and her half son's wife (follow that?). After that, Edie and I went to Walmart and the mall. I tried to find a magic wand for Julio at Walmart and the mall for a Christmas gift but I lucked out. Julio has said over the years many times "I'll wave my magic wand[hand motion of waving wand] and make everything better." but since he doesn't have one, he hasn't made everythig better, so I plan to get him one. If anyone can find me a place to buy one online, let me know. Or if you have one and want to sell it to me, let me know.
In other news, I'm going to Ohio for Thanksgiving. What's funny about that is my mom thinks my dad and I are spending Thanksgiving with her, her sister, and my cousin. In reality, the day before my dad is going to claim a family emergency and were going to ditch my mom and her family. Then, dad, sister, and I are going to head out to Ohio to spend 5 days with his side of the family. I have a large family out there, and my grandma is sick, and we need to be there. My dad is King of Avoidance and doesn't want to bring her so this is the best way for him to do it, I guess. I guess it works out. I don't have to spend the Holidays with my mom and I get a mini forced vacation from bingeing and purging. I don't know if I'm relieved or stressed. My reaction? Don't think about it. I guess I'm like my dad.
But alas and alack, the problems don't end there. I get back from Turkey day on the 30th, the day i'm suppose to see Julio. The only day this month i'm suppose to see Julio thanks to how nicely he scheduels me. I emailed him on Thursday night asking him to fit me in sometime this month, other then that day, but he didn't respond.


Now I'm bingeing. And rather tired. Today I *gasp* actually considered calling it a night with a bowl of soup and the TV and skipping the binge. But that'd be unchararestic of me and that thought only toyed with me for a second. I don't know. Maybe thoughts are babysteps leading me to cutting down on this shit. I'm not even having fun doing this anymore.