I plan to turn strawberry flavored
2005-01-21, 5:46 p.m.

Home is tense. Mom hates my brother because he doesn't have his own car so she has to share with him and he talks back to her. Dad hates brother because he wastes money, hasn't graduated, and is stubborn as hell. I don't hate him.
Mom hates me because I call her a selfish cow. Dad hates me because i don't have a job, don't take my vitamins, don't eat, and sleep too much. I hate myself too.
I hate my dad because I'm never good enough. What is "good" he doesn't praise me for. He won't show me love. He's an asshole.
I hate my mom for a hundred reasons. If murder was legal, I might be driven to that.
My brother claims not to hate either of them, but I think he's lying.
Our home doesn't function. Mom thinks dad is picking up brother, tells brother that. Dad tells brother to ask for a ride if needs, but is told he is being picked up by dad when asks. He waits for a nonexistant ride.
I sleep through this because I'm so weak from only eating jello and peas all day that I can't stay awake and don't even hear the phone. No one notices that I don't eat, because my family doesn't give two shits about me. My goal is to become scarily thin. Someone will have to notice eventually.
Rite aid had a sale on jello for 5/1.00. So I bought 20 sugar free. I must've looked crazy, but usually they're 1.00 each.
I wonder if i'd turn red if i only ate strawberry sugar free jello. You know, like when people only eat carrots. Must find out.