2005-02-02, 11:24 a.m.
School has started. It's been two days and It's already a disaster. I feel like i've been going for months because I'm so worn out. Yesterday I came home after 6 hours (which would be a normal time span for HS), ate something, and collapsed on the couch till I had to go to the eating disorder meeting. I'm going to either need to become a serious caffiene or drug addict to make it through this semester. While other students are dlightfully taking notes on the first day of class, I'm crawled up in the fetus posistion, notebook on floor, wondering how much longer the teacher is going to talk. Today I woke up and felt glued to my mattress. I wondered about a zillion ways how I could not go to class. But it's the FIRST day. If I don't go, I'll be dropped. Worse even, it's a 3 hour class. I'm shaking as I drink my starbucks drink.
I'm running around in circles going no where fast. That's what one of the girls said last night and I really identified with it. Going no where fast. That's me. I have no declared major. I have no talents. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life. My biggest goal is to lose 10 lbs. That's one noble goal. Yup yup. I guess I should go to class. One day at a time.
Oh God, Hallelujia. My diet pills just arrived fedex. These babies cost me 70 dollars. Here goes nothing. Make me have energy, make me not hungry. My two biggest weaknesses. Here's to weightloss.