ran away again.
2005-06-06, 10:49 p.m.

so, uh. I uh. I ran away again.
This time I ran away from the place I ran to the first time I ran away.
I'm home. Why I would purposely come here is beyond me. I just couldn't stay at the home I was at anymore. The parent of the house came home from a trip and got upset at me for having a friend sleep over while she was gone and use the hot tub. Part of me knew it was coming. I think I was more upset she was in such a fowl mood and wasn't happy to see me, or thankful for all the cleaning I did before she came home.
I heard her talking to her boyfriend in Washington, and her tone about me took a totally different spin. She told me she wasn't mad at me but then she was ranting about me behind my back to him. So I packed my things and left as quietly as possible.
When I got out of my car infront of my house, I couldn't help but cry. I don't want to be here but I don't know where else I can go and not feel like I don't have a right to be here. I put my blankets from my car on the asphalt, then my laptop on top of it. I was tired from loading all my shit in the car the first time, so I didn't want to do it again. I looked at my dark and dreery house and then I was on the asphalt next to my blankets crying.
I feel so lost. I don't have a place to go and no will to try.