2006-05-17, 12:23 a.m.

i hate everything about me. i'm not anything like i want to be. i don't look right, i don't act right, i don't feel right.
why don't i feel remorse about the day? i'm a horrible, disgusting person, yet i hardly thought two things about it. i'm more bothered than i'm not bothered by it than the actual act itself. i wonder if i should tell julio tomorrow. i wonder HOW i would tell julio tomorrow.
i'm lonely. and depressed.