car crash
2002-10-19, 10:47 p.m.


I was pretty distracted (though that's not an exusce) and I went straight through an intersection during a red. I was hit by 2 cars, though later I saw 3 cars messed up so I don't know how that happened. I don't even remember the red light. I was bleeding, and between two cars, and needless to say freaked. I climbed out the smashed window (I was not thinking right) and frantically asked questions. A guy yelled at me for running the light, police showed up, a bunch of people told them it was my mistake. Even then I wasn't sure it was mine, I didn't even remember the red. I hurt pretty bad but I wasn't thinking. Sometime in the mess I called my dad. They asked me some questions and I don't remember doing anything but sitting on the curve not crying (too much in shock) with my dad trying to answer questions about what hurt.

I got put on a stretcher because my chest rib area hurt pretty bad right infront and my left side bottem. In the ambulance, I made phone calls. Hah..yes..laying on the stretcher. I frantically called people not making sense. I think I called my therapist 3 times, one time I remember giving the office phone number as mine. I realy should call them and apologize for acting like an idiot. The whole process of getting to a local hospital somehow took 30 min, I think they took a wrong turn or something. I was completely out of it..kind of in a dream state. My hand was bleeding and my clothes had some fat spots on them making me look worse then I was. I got wheeled in to the emergency room and eventually my dad and sister showed up. They got some info, bandaged my hand that thankfully didn't need stictches.

Then I went in for x-rays. They X-rayed my ribs and thank god nothing is broken....but it hurts so bad I'm suprised. I can't turn or breath without sharp pain. I took some tyneol from the hospital but i still hurt really bad. My ribs are realy bruised up. Before I got seen, I went into the bathroom, and ran my fingers through my embarresingly messed up hair. 2 large clumps fell to the ground. I started to panick and more and more hair came out. I also found glass in my hair. I think my hair was just cut from climbing through my window. just kept shedding. It finally stopped coming out in clumps and now just comes out a little. I'm a little worried but the pain in me makes me forget.

As far as I know, everyone else is okay. Someone was complaining of neck pain, but that's about it. But my car is completely ruined. Goodbye freedom, goodbye life, hello hell with mom all over again. my insurance will go through the roof, my dad lost his job a bit back and stops working the 30th of oct. So needless to say this was about worse timing as it could get.

I won't be driving for awhile, which I probably wouldn't do anyways because now i'm scared shitless. I've had enough of blood and glass and hospitals and ambulances for a lifetime. -------------------------------------- i wish i had died. so much. then my parents wouldn't have to worry about money with me forever. i just ruined everything for my family. if anyone was in the passenger doubt they'd be dead. I honestly don't know how I lived. I got hit on both sides of me. I was really, really lucky. The people who hit me had to be going atleast 55, they were on a street that's pretty crazy. a mess. i'm in too much of shock to cry. i acted so insane tonight. running around asking repetive questions. Then when I wasn't suppose to move in the hospital, I got up anyways being welcomed to huge stabs in my chest and side area. it hurts so bad. but ya..i basically ruined everything tonight. my freedom, my dad, our finacial status. my dad currently couldn't afford to sign me up for a gym. and extra 30 bucks a month. who knows where this will put my family. i wish i did die.