too much
2002-10-20, 9:50 p.m.

so. bad day.

sore. bruised. cut up. meh.

i want my car.

I didn't eat all day because I was sleeping then pigged out at my bible group without even caring. I even had a cupcake and lots of chef's salad. lettuce, cheese, meats, tomatoes, bacon bits, and a bit of dressing. I guess all and all I didn't do bad at all today, but it was weird being full. So I came home and binged and now I'm going to purge. It hurts. The binge. Being so full and my body being so tender hurts. I can't wait to get this food out but I'm a bit frightened of my pain. It hurts when I sneeze or cough or laugh. So how much will it hurt when I throw up? Well...i got myself in this mess. Got to get myself out. I was 98 this morning for the 5th day in a row. I will probably be pretty bad tommorow.mehhhhhhhh. i can't worry about this car accident, my school, my injuries, my family's money, and this god damn weight and bulimia. too much.