dumb fuck.
2003-01-24, 7:21 a.m.

I saw my psych yesterday. I found out I was taking my medication wrong. That explains some things. Like that I'm a fucking idiot. That might of saved some angst. god. I started a list. I started a lot of lists. But one of my lists is "Why I should commit suicide" number 18 is going to be because I can't follow how to take medication. He said to me "wait..Melissa, you should of never even reached 150 mg"
me: ... well, wait, did I said 150?
Inside I'm saying DUMB FUCK WHAT DID YOU DO.

Well I was suppose to increase weekly but was increasingy like every 3-4 days. ANOTHER mistake I made that I admitted to because I couldn't get out of was that I was suppose to be taking pamelor and I thought we stopped it. I'm also suppose to get this Nortiptyline level or something. more blood being drawn.
I'd update more but I gotta go or I'll be late for a final...oh, I'm 95. Suprise? I didn't think so...