2004-11-20, 11:12 a.m.
I'm sleeping an insane amount. The past few nights I'm sleeping 9 1/2, 10, or even 11 hours a night, each night in a row. Because it's so many nights in a row I can't blame it on catching it up on sleep. This excessive sleep can either be a. depression or b. my weight loss lately. I think it might be depression because I wake up at an appropriate time and I COULD get up but I have no desire to get up. I'm a little sleeply, force my eyes shut for awhile, and go back to sleep for a few more hours. Why start my day when there is nothing to look foward to? I think it could be my weight loss, however, because I've lost a bit of weight lately and maybe my body is just drained. Ironically, I'm thinner then ever and I got my period. I wonder if a period can drain you? On the note of weightloss, I don't know what I've done differently but I've lost quite a bit of weight lately. I'm almost happy with what I look like. If my thighs could just be a bit thinner...
I just wish my hair would stop falling out. I wash it, and hairs after hairs have to be washed off my hands. I take my hair down in the morning or night and I'm shaking my hands of the hairs.
Could the medication be responsible for my weight loss? It certainly isn't helping with my face picking. I can't stop picking. And my purging hasn't stopped. That one day, my last entry, where I was determined not to b/p? Ya, I failed. I had a mid-day mini b/p but I didn't b/p that evening. I don't know if that's a step back or forward.
Now I need to go on TF and make an e-mail to Julio of a whole bunch of So. Cali treatment centers I got off of there. Why does it feel like I'm doing more work then he is in regards to this?