can't do reality
2006-10-02, 3:33 a.m.

It's not that I've been avoiding my diary, it's just that i don't even think about the computer that much anymore. ALl I think about is how to get more drugs, when to, and who from.
Joe has almost completely stopped answering my texts and calls. Ruston and I are speaking again but he's moving in November which I'm sure will break my heart all over again. Julio has seemed to lost hope. HE doesn't talk to me or look at me like I have a fighting chance..and if Julio and my dad...someone who is suppose to be there unconditionally...have no faith in me who am i to say i know better then them?
I'm using everyday, barely sleeping, and making poor decisions. I miss school a lot, blow off things a lot, and steal from my dad a lot.
Maybe i am avoiding my diary...this much has drained my already.